FUNDACIÓN VÍCTIMAS DEL TERRORISMO 95 - ENGLISH

76 TESTIMONY WHAT VALUES DID YOU LEARN FROM YOUR FATHER? Above all, perseverance and a sense of res- ponsibility. I remember that when I was going through academic difficulties, he in- sisted that I not give up. He always encou- ragedme to keep going and to finishwhat I had started. Over time, I have realized that this way of facing difficulties has stayedwith me. Things have to get very bad forme to throw in the towel. AFTER EVERYTHING YOU HAVE LIVED THROUGH, WHAT HAS THIS EXPERIENCE TAUGHT YOU? If I can draw one les- son, it is that we are all stronger than we think. If, before the attack, someone had told me I would spend the rest of my life without my father, I would not have believed it possible. Now I realize that I have lived more years without him than the years I was able to share by his side. That does not mean you are always strong. There are bad days andmoments when you wonder why you had to live through so- mething like this. But in the end you move forwardbecause there is noother choice, and because I amconvincedmy fatherwouldnot have wanted our life to stop forever. WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN THE POSSIBILITY OF FORGIVENESS IS RAISED? HOW DID YOUR FAMILY'S LIFE CHANGE AFTER THE ATTACK? It changed completely. Our family nu- cleus was destroyed. Over the years we have moved forward, but there is always an absence that accompanies us. It was especially hard for my mother. Now, when I think about the age she was then, I find it impossible to imagine how she managed to carry everything forward. YOU WERE A TEENAGER WHEN IT HAPPENED. HOW DID YOU FACE A SITUATION LIKE THAT? Looking back now, I think I did it by focusing on day-to-day life. At that mo- ment I decided to put my studies aside temporarily because I could not concen- trate. I was only a few months away from the university entrance exams, and I did not feel prepared to face something so important. I needed to keep busy. I remember I star- ted preparing to get my driver's license because there were many practical mat- ters to resolve and I needed to focus my attention on something. The support of my friends also helped me a lot. People rallied around us. In the end, we kept going, as people say. HOW DOES ONE OVERCOME A LOSS LIKE THAT? I think you learn to live with it, but it never disappears. Life goes on, of course it does. We have happy moments, make plans, and move forward. But there is always an absence that stays with you. There are days when you are busy and hardly think about it, but then moments of calm or important dates arrive and you ask yourself again why that person is no longer here. ARE THERE MOMENTS WHEN THAT ABSENCE BECOMES MORE PRESENT? Many. On my wedding day I thought of him especially. Also when my children were born. Those are the moments when you realize everything that was lost. Now I look at my children and think how unfair it was that they were deprived of knowing their grandfather. I at least was able to enjoy my father for seventeen years. They did not even have that opportunity. DOES IT BOTHER YOU WHEN SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT, AFTER MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS, IT SHOULD BE TIME TO TURN THE PAGE? Yes, because even though more than twenty years have passed, we continue living with the consequences. Someti- mes it seems that society thinks time heals everything, but it does not. We lost our loved ones and live with that absence. Even as the years pass, there are wounds that do not disappear. "Sometimes it seems that society thinks time heals everything, but it does not. Even as the years pass, there are wounds that do not disappear."